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When the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing came around, I found myself in the kitchen preparing some of her favorite dishes. I hadn’t planned this, but there I was one hot August afternoon, making her famous soup from the turkey I had roasted the day before.
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As I poured myself into cooking, some of the deep sadness I was experiencing at this one-year mark moved through me. I loved my mom’s turkey soup, how she cooked the egg noodles right in the broth, and how they soaked it up and tasted almost like dumplings. I remembered the time she made some especially for me. It was summer then, too, and I had a terrible head cold. She arrived unexpectedly one afternoon at my work place with a huge jar of her turkey noodle soup. I thought about the bread she used to bake and about how much butter she would slather on it, and how we loved to dip it into the broth. I began to feel a little more buoyant amidst the pain of losing her.
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While the noodles boiled in the broth in my kitchen, I realized that I was reconnecting with my mother through food. I laughed a bit at myself when I reflected on all the dishes I had cooked that week. Without knowing it, I had created a beautiful ritual to honor my mother and to comfort myself at this vulnerable time. I suddenly felt my mother at hand and was filled with her presence. I was so uplifted and excited that I began talking to her, imagining she were there.
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“What else should we make?” I asked of us both, wanting to keep the ritual from ending.
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“Irish Potato Pancakes,” was the reply.
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